In this blog I would like to offer my thoughts on change. I have started with the immediate changes I can see from my window. Colours of leaves, and landscapes are changing, fruits have ripened and are falling to the ground. Daylight is shortening, and those darker evenings are easing into the day. I am not necessarily at ease with change. I am learning to embrace those changes, because change is happening all the time…personal changes in particular, of which I have no control… seems natural to offer myself a pause here...

What changes come to mind for you?

The Autumn Equinox occurred on Sunday 22nd September this year, a day when we experience the same amount of daytime and night-time. I am encouraged to consider how this impacts me. I know I’m not a fan of the drop in temperature, currently the dark mornings, and the word hibernation comes to mind. Blankets, candles, and creating spaces that are warm and cosy, are what comes up for me.

As a counsellor/psychotherapist I would like to offer some guidance on the impact of changes to our bodies and offer some suggestions on what may be useful for you.

Pause...

We may have a favourite time of year, when the sounds of nature, or life, motivates us to do, or just be in a space where we can just be. Not always easy. However, becoming more aware of any changes we may experience, maybe a step forward.

Our bodies like routines, because it’s familiar, we feel safe, we may be use to doing things in a particular way, because it feels secure. When something comes along to change that, It disrupts the familiarity. We may experience stress, or anxiety. We may feel scared, vulnerable, or stuck, and unsure of how we are going to cope with that change. We may even feel lost.

Pause…

Change may mean:

• Changes in mental health- e.g. due to a diagnosis.
• Changes in physical health- due to ageing, or loss.
• Relationships- e.g.with yourself and others.
• Identity- e.g. change that challenges a sense of who we are.

Change is happening all the time, and happens to everyone. It is our responses to that change which is key to moving forward. It may help if we can change our thoughts, or behaviours towards this by re-framing our thinking. I am learning there is nothing I can do about inevitable changes, and when I get off my rollercoaster ride… key for me, is to have a personal check-in, pause and be present...and I tend to reflect through my writing.

What may help you?

Suggestions for re-framing:

• Be curious about the change, it may help to reduce the fear- What would you want to know?
• Small steps- What would help you now? Break things down into small manageable steps.

Suggested techniques…

• Self-Compassion- change is hard, and it is ok to feel the way you do. Offer yourself some kindness, as you would a trusted friend that you love.
• Mindfulness- learning some simple breathing or grounding practices to stay present may help.
• Journalling- may be written or drawing, may help to externalise, and track your thoughts.
• Talking- seeking support and connecting with others facing similar experiences may help.

A final word...

Accepting any kind of change is difficult, and takes time to make the adjustment. If you are able, give yourself time. Time to adapt to the change. Even if it is only one minute to pause...You are doing the best that you can. Know that you are not alone, and there is help and support out there.