Let's Talk About...Relationships

 

What are you first thoughts when you think about relationships?

Are you thinking about familial, ancestral, spiritual, close or distant relationships? What about the relationship you have with yourself? (More on this later). Not always an easy subject to discuss. As an Integrative counsellor/psychotherapist, mum, grandparent, daughter and sister, I have learnt that, relationships are complex, challenging, and sometimes, shall we say, difficult to navigate.

Relationships can be rewarding, comforting and unique. Relationships can/may involve many: parents, siblings, children, work colleagues, partners, lovers, friends, pets, or objects. Each having their own value of importance in our lives. Each experience adding to who we become.

How would you define relationship?... What/Who would you add?

The online dictionary defines relationship as  ‘ the way in which two or more people or thing(s) are connected, the state of being connected.’

My connection with my family is sometimes complex, sometimes challenging, and most of the time inspiring. I have cried, cheered, felt sadness, experienced hope, and found the dynamics of family difficult to navigate. I have a collection of memories where laughter, love and hope are the rewards I have gained.

Possible ingredients for positive relationships may include:

• trust,
• to be treated with respect,
• acceptance, without judgment and,
• feeling safe

Take a moment to consider what is coming up for you... What would be your pot of ingredients?

In our formative years, relationships are important and in some cases our safe spaces where we may experience a sense of ‘belonging,’ or not...Our belief systems are also formed by our early relationships, and our relationship with the world. This may impact our adult relationships.

Relationships with myself...

I have to admit has not been something I thought about until later on in life. I was too busy,‘I didn’t have time!’ Two things influenced this. 1) seeking my own therapy and 2)studying. When deciding to see a counsellor I had to make time. Taking that step, was hard! It didn't feel right making time for myself. In sessions we were able to explore childhood experiences that have impacted different relationships. This gave me the opportunity to explore, discover, (sometimes digging quite deep), and learning to question the relationship I had with myself. I believe the relationship we have with ourselves is key to the relationships we have with others.

Why seek therapy?

• You may seek therapy because you would like to find out more about yourself, and would like a space where you can share your own narrative, e.g., finding out about your attachment style, and how this may impact adult relationships. Or explore identity and how this may impact the relationship you have with yourself.

• There may have been a  been a change in relationships for you, e.g. through illness, a diagnosis, loss, or relationship breakdown. I can offer a space online where I will listen without judgment.

• When and where have your learnt about relationships? You may want to explore patterns of learnt behaviour. Together we may explore healthy coping techniques you could try without loosing a sense of yourself.

Before I finish,  I would like to mention the importance of the therapeutic relationship. There is the formal side, this includes contracting and setting boundaries. The therapeutic side, involves finding creative ways through therapy to achieve what is best for you, together.

If you are ready to take the next step, why not take it and arrange a free 20 minute chat without obligation.