What are you first thoughts when you think about relationships?

Are you thinking about familial, ancestral, spiritual, close or distant relationships? What about the relationship you have with yourself? (More on this later). Not always an easy subject to discuss. As an Integrative counsellor/ psychotherapist, mum, grandparent, daughter and sister, I have learnt that, relationships are complex, challenging, and sometimes, shall we say, difficult to navigate.

Relationships can be rewarding, comforting and unique. Relationships can/may involve many: parents, siblings, children, work colleagues, partners, lovers, friends, pets, or objects. Each having their own value of importance in our lives. Each experience adding to who we become. Who or what would you add to your list?

How would you define relationship?...

The online dictionary definition says ‘ the way in which two or more people or thing(s) are connected, the state of being connected.’

My connection with my family is sometimes complex, sometimes challenging, and most of the time inspiring. I have cried, cheered, felt sadness, experienced hope, and found the dynamics of family difficult to navigate. I have a collection of memories where laughter, love and hope are the rewards I have gained.

Ingredients for positive relationships may include:

• trust,
• to be treated with respect,
• acceptance, without judgment and,
• feeling safe

Take a moment to consider what is coming up for you... What are your experiences of relationships? What does a relationship mean to you? What/Who do you feel connected to? Why?

In our formative years, relationships are important and in some cases our safe spaces, where we may experience a sense of ‘belonging,’ or not...Our belief systems are also formed by our early relationships, and our relationship with the world.

What about the relationship you have with yourself? What would you say? Where would you begin?...

Relationships with myself...

Relationship with myself, I have to admit, has not been something I had thought about until later on in life. I was too busy,‘I didn’t have time!’ Two things influenced this. 1) seeking my own therapy and 2)studying. When deciding to see a counsellor,I had to make time. Taking that step, was hard! We were able to explore childhood experiences that have impacted different relationships.

While studying to become an Integrative Counsellor/psychotherapist, this gave me the opportunity to explore, discover, sometimes digging quite deep, to form an understanding of the relationship I have with myself. I believe the relationship we have with ourselves, is key to the relationships we have with others. Maybe this is an area you would like to explore.

Why you may seek therapy?

• You may seek therapy because you would like to find out more about yourself, and would like a space where you can share your own narrative. For example, finding out about your attachment style, and how this impacts adult
relationships. I can offer a space online, where you can feel safe...

• Has there been a change in relationships for you, for example through illness or a diagnosis, loss, or relationship breakdown. I can offer a space online where I will listen without judgment...

• When and where have your learnt about relationships? You may want to explore patterns of learnt behaviour. Together we may explore strategies you may want to try without loosing a sense of yourself...

A couple more things before I finish. I would like to mention the importance of the therapeutic relationship. There is the formal side, this includes contracting and setting boundaries. The therapeutic side, involves finding creative ways through therapy, to achieve what is best for you, together. If you are ready to take the next step, I offer a free, no obligation 15-20 minute intro, please get in touch.